Feedback. What it is and how it helps us promote collaboration.

In the Runroom LAB Constructive Conversations: the art of giving Feedback, we explored the meaning of feedback and the main obstacles we encounter when managing difficult conversations, with Víctor Lemus and Guillem Daniel from Verbalima.

Through a series of dynamics, they helped us delve into the art of giving and receiving feedback, analyzing real situations, using a framework rooted in management 3.0 and non-violent communication to structure our message and promote collaboration.

Here are some insights I would like to share with you.

Takeaways

• Courage
  !Jump into the pool! And try making objective observations, expressing how you feel about what you observed, and sharing your needs and requests by taking responsibility for them.
• Curiosity
  Understand that collaboration arises from mutual understanding and focusing on the common goal. Use feedback to understand the other person's context while sharing your needs.
• Empathy
  Find common ground where you can see how both people feel about the situation and design your message accordingly.

Learnings

• Feedback is an exchange, a conversation born from the intention to build regarding a situation, behavior, or attitude.
• We can think of two types of feedback: Reinforcement and Development, or as they say in English: Glow & Grow.

Do not confuse developmental feedback with criticism, or reinforcement feedback with praise.

The main difference lies in that feedback consists of providing the necessary information for our interlocutor to understand the impact derived from the observed actions, as well as having clarity about what we need and what we ask of them.

• The intention from which the exchange originates largely determines the effectiveness of the message. In this sense, it is interesting to analyze the starting point we find ourselves in before giving feedback and focus on creating a collaborative environment.
• Separate people from the problem. Or in other words, learn to focus our message on the objective reality of the situation we want to address and move away from judgment and personal accusations.
• Our most basic social instincts are patterns learned in the early years of cognitive development. In this context, we learned to relate to authority figures. To understand how these patterns can condition our communication, we discussed the PAC model (Parent-Adult-Child) by Eric Berne, which allows us to identify which archetypes we adopt based on our objectives.

1. Parent: imposing message, archetype of the savior, the hero, or the protector.
2. Child: rebellious or demanding message, archetype of the victim.
3. Adult: Able to value different realities and maintain a commitment to responsibility towards their emotions and needs, as well as the emotions and needs of others.

• Distinguish judgment from fact. Applying models like the WRAP feedback, we have seen that one of the main challenges lies in the ability to describe contexts and make observations purely objectively, setting aside judgment.
• Take responsibility for emotions and include them in the message.
  It's not the same to say, “you make me nervous” (the focus is on the other), as to say “when there is no clarity about what is expected of me, I feel confused and frustrated” (we take responsibility for what we feel, connecting it to the observed situation).

Here is the document with the workshop presentation.

Thank you very much Guillem and Víctor for the quality of the content, the energy generated, and for the excellent feedback received. It is a pleasure to have you in the Runroom LAB community.